In Germany I found myself wanting to put on foot outside of the hotel door and explore, but where? I was in town to see Adele in concert and wanted to make lasting memories. I found myself roaming the streets from dawn to dusk with a lust to soak in all of the sights. I also had a wonderment to find safe gay spaces. Being new to travel abroad, I did not want to push myself to the limits, but had a desire to explore the nightlife.
“Fear makes you do crazy things, like create self-doubt. Get out of your head, room, and go explore.” - Me
In Germany, I went to gay spaces in Central Munich. I went one night with two friends I made and another night I went solo. The places were drastically different in each country. Most places in Germany seem to be on the small side, so that made me feel a lot better. I could stand anywhere in the space and see the exit door; I could dart the moment my heart started to pound from anxiety.
At this point I was feeling like I had more sober courage, the veil of fear was lifting, and I was not stuttering anymore when I spoke to men. This is huge, I thought to myself. I wanted to step outside and explore Munich Germany gay spaces, but being shy and nervous I did not want to go “balls deep” in an endeavor while being in a foreign country alone. I set out for the first night to simplee explore the gay area of Germany. To my surprise everything was in proximity, so this made it easy. I could wander in between each place and bounce around as I pleased.
A quick Googler search while walking and I found the first place, Prosecco. It was a small gay space with a dance floor and delicious drinks. The space was filled with men and women of all cultures and seemed to fit my definition of culture shock, so, with a drink in hand, I flapped to the dance floor. I did not talk to anyone or flirt, I just danced and felt the bass in my chest. I wanted to feel this lucid feeling of joy and safety around other like-minded peers.
For the remainder of the night, I bounced between gay spaces and returned to my hotel room with a sigh, almost in disbelief that I had entered these spaces without drenching myself in sweat. I showered and lay in bed revisiting my steps to see if I had overlooked a portion of the evening that could have been a revelation of sorts. I lay there and passed out, waking the next morning with an eagerness to visit a hidden gym that I found, the views from the rooftop of this gym are breathtakingly gorgeous. I thought to myself, “You’ll find some clarity when you work out.”
That night was my second in Munich I wanted to explore more and felt that I was in the right headspace to try meeting someone. I thought, “Let’s open Grindr and see if we can find someone to spend the evening with.” I found myself walking to meet a man and go for a drink. We met at the middle point of our hotels and started to walk to a nearby bar for a drink. Even before meeting this man, I was shaking and had become a sweaty mess, I did not want this night to go that way, so I tried to reason with myself. This is the moment that I started the “pep talk” before anything I did. I noticed that if I calmed my nerves, I could navigate the situation.
We met in the streets of Munich, under the night moon. As he approached, I could see that he was indeed taller than me and was an attractive man. We hugged and held the embrace for a short minute and then started to discuss where we could go. We decided and off we went, on the walk we both discovered that we were in town for the Adele concert and that immediately struck common interest. We both had a deep love for her music and lyrics. We were off to a great start.
Once we were in the first bar, I noticed that I was already sweating heavily and did not understand why. He was tall, well-spoken, attractive, and seemed to be a sweetheart. I was determined to break this cycle and wanted to have a good evening with this man. We continued to talk as we finished our drink and decided to make our way to another gay space in town and to be joined by his travel gay. Once at the new gay space, I felt a little better having a small, but filled area with local gays of all types. His travel gay was just as tall and an attractive man, too.
We sat in the middle of the room, hoping to see a drag show. The room had lights strung in all directions, with disco balls that lit up the room. The night was filled with laughter and conversation that will always remain dear to me.
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