Anyone can make an acquaintance or surface-level friend, it is the integrity of the individual that creates a quality friendship. These connections can take a while to form or can be created out of chance encounters. I have been on a mission to have quality friends in my life. I proved to myself in Rio that anything is possible and will most likely occur when least expected.
My week in Rio started with plans that I made to do something for myself that I had never done before and wanted to check off the list. I hired a photographer and purchased some Brazilian beach clothing, including the little black Speedo. When scheduling the photographer I researched for a couple of weeks and found one that I thought had good esthetics. The night before I did my workout and ate an entire pizza to myself on a beach boardwalk in Copacabana.
The morning of the photoshoot I was excited to have this experience and see the results. I would never consider myself the type to be a model in any sense of the word, or have the desire to do so. This was an event for confidence, something that I can always look back on and remember the feeling of freedom in South America.
I met the photographer on the Ipanema Beach, in Rio de Janeiro at 6 a.m. as the sun was coming up and we started right away. I noticed that he was straight and thought to myself, “Does a straight man know how to capture another man’s body from the right angles?” I was going to find out later that afternoon.
In Rio de Janeiro I found myself amid authentic personalities. The lively nature of inquisitive Brazilians will bring a shy person right out of their shell. I scheduled a sunset sailboat ride in the bay of Rio. I wanted to experience freedom on the water, where I typically panicked (being on the water is not my forte). I had my sailing outfit on, cologne, and ready for an adventure. It was a beautiful and warm evening. The best start to a new experience.
On my way to the sailboat excursion, the proofs for the photo shoot came through my email and I quickly navigated to the shared Google drive. Then my face fell, “Do I look like that?” The proof that I saw made me start to cry and I immediately picked my body apart and all my nutrition choices. Why? A gay man can pick any body image apart with a dual steak knife.
Once I got onto the boat, I sat and poured over the proofs, and I am sure my face looked disgusted as my face was glued to a phone screen in paradise. I closed the phone for a bit, cried to myself, and then laid back to enjoy the charter. Once I was looking around at people, I noticed that there was a gay couple and a female which seemed to be the energy of the sailboat. The woman was Columbian, with long well-kept hair, and a smile that lit up the outside evening sky. She immediately gravitated towards me and got a smile. I thought to myself, “She is my type of person.” I have typically favored anyone who makes another smile.
As the charter went on, she became my favorite person of the night. She brought me a couple of drinks, kept making me smile, and we started to sing. Then, the real photoshoot of Rio started. The gay couple had just married, and you could tell, they were all smiles and had romantic energy to them. They stood at the bow and posed; they were the cutest couple I had seen. The beautiful Columbian woman then shouted “Chris! Our turn!” As I was still mentally reeling from the morning’s photoshoot, I was a little apprehensive. And then I just caved to peer pressure. Thank God for peer pressure. If it was not for this single moment, I would not have formed this friendship.
And just like that, the Columbian made me pose at the bow for quite a few pictures and then wanted in. We laughed and it was genuine. We snapped the pictures and then I sat down with my Brazilian beer to gawk at the newest set of proofs. I was surprised at my smile and facial expressions. I was happy and laughing like I had not seen in a couple of years. It put a smile on my face and then I put the phone down.
As the evening went on, the drinks flowed, and the sun provided a gorgeous display of colors in the semi-cloudy sky that made for a memorable sunset on the water. As we started to head back to shore, the friend request on socials started to ping, and the smiles continued. Once we were on land, the four of us got a picture by the dock that will forever live in my heart. I was immediately tagged in the photos and found myself smiling at a screen. This time, not for impressing myself in physique definition, but in my smile. I looked happy.
The lesson I took from this story is to find people that feed your soul. I found my type of friend and it is caring and compassionate. Prior to boarding the first plane, I had a blurred vision of South America, yes it was more on the vain side, but this one evening changed that. I found myself understanding my pull to the Brazilian culture. It is the spirit and nature of the population. They share love and want to see others happy. As an American, I can say that most of us are desensitized and cold to compassion, or wanting to provide something free to another human, friendship and love.
Brazilians are beautiful on the surface, but what makes them gorgeous people, are their hearts. After having about a month to process these events, I can confidently say that the population of Brazil is underrated. I have found love, romance, friendship, and most importantly, I have nursed a bruised and battered heart back to life. Brazilians might have perfect bodies, but it is a shell for their mind and heart. The giving nature of this culture to a random white guy has changed how I look at interactions and what I ultimately want for my life.
When I booked this one-night sailboat sunset tour, I thought it was just to check an item off my bucket list. I was pleasantly surprised that it was a large part of my healing adventure. I made lifetime friends. It is now up to me to nurture those relationships.