Josie Geller once said "there is a big world out there... bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won't matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it."
Sometimes you have to dive in and just do. I have completed various forms of therapy (e.g.: talk, EMDR, ketamine, etc) over the past twenty-five years. I am determined to share my knowledge and complete the inner work that remains too successfully leave the past where it belongs. I wish I could say that there is a roadmap, guidance, or a visual aid to depict how to engage the process of healing, but there is no such thing. Why? What I have learned is that each person experiences life events through their own lenses, thus the need to heal specific wounds is present in each person. This is not as I once thought, a magical vest to wear and it guides you through the process. No, you have to do the work and figure it out. There are principals to help along the way, but a magic tonic is not on the shelves at this time. It is inner work and dedication.
As my anxiety lowers, thoughts slow, and fear subsides, I am able to properly articulate my thoughts, thus my grammar is improving. I am now able to account for new experiences with an astuteness; my writing style is emerging. Healing from trauma can feel completely daunting and overwhelming; it can take a lifetime to face, so be compassionate with yourself. You could think it is easier to close the shades, turn down the bed, and sleep. This is ignoring the problem. The best thing I did for myself, is ask "What do you want?" I want to face fear and share the experience.
I am allowing myself time to try, fail, and repeat until I feel that I am loosening the fear grip. Each time I can confidently say "I am no longer fearful of ___________" I will create a blog detailing what, how, the feels, and the overall experience. Once complete, each "fear" will be green and a new blog will appear. If I feel that an experience is negative and needs a "rinse and repeat" type of endeavor, The blog post title will appear in red.
[May 2024] The goal for this blog is:
- Be open to the possibility of falling in love again.
- The Healing Blog: What Is Love? Pt II
- The Healing Blog: What Is Love? Pt III
- Be open to experiencing the feeling of love. If the feeling presents itself, say “I love you” to the person without fear of rejection, or having the expectation of mutuality.
- The Healing Blog: What Is Love? Pt IV
- The Healing Blog: Safe Gay Spaces. Pt V - Italy
- Discover a new type of self-love.
- The Healing Blog: What Is Love? Pt V
- Create new life experiences that bring a smile.
- Go to gay spaces that have induced a freeze response. Have fun and create a positive view. Create a positive experience. Be gay and do gay shit. Answer the queer question: “What is my type of fun?"
- The Travel Blog: Safe Gay Spaces. Pt I - London
- The Travel Blog: Safe Gay Spaces. Pt II - Germany
- The Travel Blog: Safe Gay Spaces. Pt III - Brazil
- Beat the freeze response and face fears.
- The Travel Blog: Safe Gay Spaces. Pt IV - Brazil
- Create a reciprocal and healthy friendship with three new people.
- The Healing Blog: The First Friendly Marry-Go-Round
- The Healing Blog: Creating Genuine Friendships. Pt II - Rio
- Create a healthy friendship with a fellow gay.
- Learn to live with trauma and continue healing.
- The Healing Blog: The Deets About Healing Trauma
- The Healing Blog: Let Kevin Have His Moment. Pt. II - NYC
- Go outside and be comfortable around people.
- The Travel Blog: Planes, Trains, & Ubers.
- The Travel Blog: The Best Way to Heal Your Soul is to Travel
[January 2025] The goal for this blog is:
- Unleash the creative within and find a passion.
- Get lost on an unvisited continent and learn a new culture.
- Cultivate a new friendship.
- Create a new life in another country.
Updated 12/14/2024