As I start to put myself out into the dating world, making connections and mistakes, I am going to account for them in this Blog that will evolve into multiple parts. The stories and mishaps that occur along the way will be documented.
“This is a harder process than I remember. It is no longer “You have good energy, let’s go on a date.” It has become “You are hot, I want to taste and then move to the next. No thank you on the date.” – Me
As I navigate dating again, and man has it been a long time. Like three years since I even gained the courage to ask someone on a date. Or not sweat through my clothes while even getting ready for such an event. I am going to detail the conversations and mishaps (where it be my fault or the suiters) and acknowledge what went wrong.
The Brazilian-Arabic attorney that is half my age.
The first beautiful man that I met in Brazil at a sketchy nightclub I was taken to. I arrived when the doors first opened, and yes- I was the only American. As I walked through the different levels of the club, I noticed that it was a little more on the sketch side, meaning sex was prevalent. I had already exchanged eye contact with the beautiful man that I could confidently identify a nationality other than Brazilian - a mix. I got a drink, and we held eye contact and I walked over to speak to him. His facial features were brilliant, with eyelashes for days, and cheekbones that accentuated his eyes; He is part Arabic. We spoke for a while and exchanged numbers, among other things. It was getting late in the evening, and this was my first night in Brazil. I did not know the area, like at all. So I asked if we could meet for breakfast the next day.
The following day we met for breakfast and talked. He chose a cute little bakery-restaurant type thing and we talked for a while. Then we went to a popular restaurant in the area for a glass of wine. We continued to exchange looks and then the offer came:
“would you like to go back to my place?” he said with a smirk.
I agreed as it had been a while since I had entertained a hookup, and he was beautiful: mind, face, body, so why not? I set out on this adventure to have new healthy experiences. So we did. During this I had forgotten my talent, before I knew it, we were done and lying there. I thought to myself, “This is not as nerve-wracking as it was in the U.S., why was that?” We spoke a little more and then I went on my way to have dinner and return to my room. We agreed to meet up more and see where things went.
In texting back in forth for a while, he would say things like:
“you are quite the catch” and “Hey bb” when starting a text convo. I thought he was sweet and had a kind demeanor. We would meet a couple more times, but the lust would die off. He would walk by the apartment I was renting and say:
“Juliet, come down for breakfast” with a picture of the building. I was really into him and would be open to a re-do. He is very sweet and beautiful, but again, I could not get a full vibe check. I am direct and intentional; I'm not good with certain types of communication.
The beautiful man my age.
The first date in Brazil. First, in this country that I dearly love-Tinder is more like Grindr. Hookups. I matched with a man my age and we chatted for a little bit on the app, then exchanged social media and WhatsApp info. We had a video call shortly after to make sure each was legitimate. We decided to meet the next day. We met in a crowded mall and smiled at each other as soon as we locked eyes. He was even more gorgeous in person. We walked around the mall and decided where to eat. We are both healthy eaters, so he suggested a swanky restaurant in the food court, and we sat down to eat. We started talking in depth about each other’s lives, and before we knew it, it had been three hours and the waiter was asking us to pay our bill to leave. We started to walk around again, and each looked for an Uber. My Uber was canceled after getting close to the doors, but not too close. He offered to share a ride and we would drop him off first at his hotel. When we got in the back seat of the Uber, we immediately started to make out and feel each other up. It was something that I wanted to do from the moment that I laid eyes on him, but was trying to restrain myself. After all, going in hard on the first date can give the wrong impression. As we continued on the ride, we started to….ummm… feel a certain area get aroused and I am sure that the driver got a good free show with us in the back seat. I have learned that a great deal of men in SP are gay, it is like ground zero for gay men in Latin America. When the Uber stopped, we continued to make out and feel each other up for a minute. Once we stopped, we said our goodbyes for the evening. As he got out of the car, I chuckled to myself a little, he was pulling his shirt down in front of his crotch to hide something that stood up.
As the days went on, we continued to speak and give salutations in the morning and evening. Asking each other how the other had slept, and general updates on the day. We tentatively made plans to meet for dinner and beach time the following weekend as we would both be in Rio De Janeiro. As the week progressed, I could not get a good read on this guy. I would state some things like “you have beautiful lips” and “I really like your biceps.” Maybe these things were complimenting purely his looks, but I also made sure to compliment his life, work ethic, and living style. He was really what I would look for in a man. Masculine, disciplined, charming, gorgeous, and very well-mannered. But, he did make a couple of comments about not having any gay male friends, and he did use “thanks, man” a lot. I got the feeling that there was some toxic masculinity surfacing and did not know how to equate that. I could not get a good read on him, so I let the conversation die off. We did not meet in Rio, and we never went any further.
One thing I can say about this beautiful man, is that he made me feel comfortable. I could have bluntly addressed the concerns I had, but I did not want to make assumptions and offend him. I let the conversations die off. We had great conversations, and he is beautiful.